I Know What A Lamia Is: You Guys Are Just Mean

Thoughts on Artifacts Planes

Is New Phyrexia still technically an artifact plane or is Kaladesh the new artifact plane?

mtg new phyrexia kaladesh

lizardlicks

Homestuck Quadrant Geometry*

ineedsomeplacetoshoutfantheories

*is actually more like hexagonal geometry, who knew.

I was trying to figure out what six degrees of quadrant corners would be like.. Trolls have five people they’re quadranted with, two ashen, a moirail, a kismesis, and a matesprit. If you went through these people, how long would it take any one troll to get to any other? But see I got distracted realizing they could all form into little closed off groups where everyone is only quadranted to each other. What’s the tightest little circle of people they could make?

This is what one troll’s quadrants would look like. All six of them would have to work out to all have non-overlapping quadrants within this group (assuming a lack of polyamory or vacillation, but that was what I went with) in order to make it the smallest possible. Ashen’s what makes this interesting though, because it requires three people. Someone’s moirail would have to be ashen with that person’s matesprit and kismesis for this to stay within their group. Therefore, there would be two auspistce groups where everyone’s matesprit, morail, and kismesis would be from the other ashen group.

Basically, the smallest unit would have to look like this neat looking shape below: the blue lines being moirails, matesprits, or kismesises, connecting two auspistice groups.

So that could work out in different ways, like these:

Anyhow, that’s just the most compact ones they can have. I wonder how it would work in practice though (as tight groups of six seem like they would pretty much end in drama and death from trolls). Not everyone has all their quadrants filled, some vacillate, people break up and find new partners, so it’d be ever changing. ~~Oh man, now I want to figure out what it would look like under the constraints of people not wanting to date any of their quadrants’s quadrants but being okay with one step removed… maybe later.~~

tatterdemalionamberite

ok that’s pretty awesome.

lizardlicks

Source: ineedsomeplacetoshoutfantheories

ajanigoldmane

I had a dream that for something wizards released 4 tribal decks, and the fandom did a positivity week for each. There was a post that had a banner for Elf Positivity, for Merfolk Positivity, for Snake Positivity, and then Hallucinogen Positivity, which ended up becoming a series of highly saturated ans cluttered with jpeg artifact pictures of tsuchinokos.

popcornian

Sounds like the last name is a nickname for illusions but got its nickname from its commander

shamelessfancies

Formal Request

awakened-artifact awakened-artifact

Okay so apparently, in order to LEGALLY utilize a donation button, it requires special paperwork, along with a business account and a separate non-profit account. So I imagine a large percentage of peeps using the donation button on this site aren’t doing so legally. Well, you guys be careful I guess? I don’t feel comfortable messing with it (and I don’t even have the necessary paperwork.)

Anyway,I added my paypal email directly to my blog description (it’s kinda messy because my theme doesn’t allow a lot of leeway in customization.) So please donate money if you can! I’m going to be struggling just in general for a while, and any little bit helps! Currently my main issues are:

Groceries

Bills

New Chair, because my current one is held together by duct tape and 550 cord, no joke, check this shit out:

If anybody can donate ANYTHING at all, I will be very grateful. My family will not be able to assist me so I have to rely on myself and you guys alone. I don’t have enough for food right now and I’m so hungry OeL

agentforsythe92@gmail.com

EDIT: I FOUND A THING! Please click this link to donate really quickly! I didn’t know about this.

HERE

Source: boater-hat

yourplayersaidwhat

Gazpacho’s Adventures

yourplayersaidwhat

So me and my party of 8 are going through a homemade campaign and it’s my second time really playing table top DnD. So it is A dwarf Bard (Gazpacho, me), a Dark elf Cleric, A wood Elf Druid, A Dwarf Paladin, a gnome monk, a halfling rogue, a half-orc barbarian, and a dragon born ranger. So in our campaign we were going through a dungeon looking for a shard of an artifact that we need to kill an all powerful lich. it was a rather long dungeon and we finally get to the boss room. our gnome sneaks in (cause our rogue is a piece of shit at rolling) and rolls a nat 20. So he practically phases through the door.

Hidden Boss: I know you are all there, might as well not hide.

Now we all go into the room and reveal that the boss is a Mind flayer alchemist named Scilius and he has two basilisks protecting him. The first thing he does is mind blast the entire party. Everyone doges it except for me, Gazpacho. so i’m effectively out of the game as i am stunned and have 8 health. and until i can move again my teammates decide to take out the basilisks before facing Scilius in which they blind and practically immobilize both of them. Instead of fighting him, they try to distract him through conversation. But this is where Gazpacho comes in. I tell the halfling to go and back stab him and use bardic inspiration so he does 20+ damage. I then, when it becomes my turn create the best inside joke i have with my friends.

Gazpacho: DM, im going to cast vicious mockery

DM: Roll…

I roll an 18 to hit and a three for damage. I needed to make my own insult now

DM: What are you going to sa…

Gazpacho: HEY, SHIT FOR BRAINS, YEAH YOU, THE ONE WHO LOOKS LIKE DAVY JONES’ FLESH LIGHT, FUCK OFF

at this point the entire room is laughing and i can hear the hosts parents laughing upstairs. I, a 4 foot bard just insulted a mindflayer on 8 health.

Scilius escapes shortly after me saying this on 8 health, and my entire party is practically dying from laughter still. Hes now my arch enemy and is being worked back into the campaign just for laughs

japhers

karrius

D&D players will always come up with the most bizarre, workable solutions to problems when you least expect it.

In one game I ran, the party needed to find a magical artifact and didn’t have any idea where it was at all. So they decided to use Commune to figure it out - but Commune as a spell only lets you ask yes or no questions, and get an answer out of it. So they took a map of the continent, drew a line down half of it, and asked “Is the artifact on this half of the map?”. They then continued, narrowing the artifact’s location down further and further, until they were able to pinpoint the exact building in question.

farashasilver

This reminds me of the last campaign I was in, when my husband played a Telepathic Psion. When we were coming up with our inventories at the beginning of the game, everyone else is putting down normal shit like horses, packs, travel provisions, money.

My husband asked for a bear trap.

The DM (who happened to be coolkidmitch) asked him what the hell he could possibly need a bear trap for, to which my husband only said, “You’ll see.” After about twenty minutes of figuring out what this bear trap would weigh, the skill my husband would have to roll in order to use it, and a bunch of other minutiae, my husband had a bear trap in his inventory.

Now, all of us kind of forgot about the bear trap while we were adventuring along on our escort quest (during which my husband’s Psion regularly tried to convince one of our employers that there was a golden acorn/tree of life/fountain of youth/whatever the fuck in the forest so she would wander off and get herself eaten by bears - she was really rude) until we run into a situation where we’ve been surprised by the locals and nobody can draw a weapon without causing a real problem.

My husband pulls the bear trap out of his saddlebag, holds it out to the nearest goon, and says the goon needs to roll a will check. When asked why the goon needs to roll a will check, my husband calmly replies, “He’s being offered the fanciest hat he’s ever seen in his life, and he really wants to put it on.”

Moment of silence around the gaming table as all of us realize that my husband is trying to end the encounter by convincing a goon to put a bear trap on his head like a hat.

The goon failed the will check.

curriebelle

I gotta share The Grand Show story now.

So my D&D campaign is comprised of four newbies, one guy with a lot of tabletop experience, and me, the newbie DM. The crew is trying to break into a walled manor, in part to find out if the Lord inside had anything to do with some culty plot shenanigans (P.S: he was dead the whole time, so no one would have detected them from inside the wall regardless).

I am very explicit to them about the fact that they are trying to break into the Lord’s manor, in the middle of the day, across from the main thoroughfare of the town, with no cover or disguise of any kind, and they are all level 2 - so no teleportation, invisibility, illusions - nothing. They do not heed my warnings, and our gnome paladin and halfling rogue toss a grappling hook over the wall and start to climb it. Meanwhile the other three in the party - a totally inconspicuous group consisting of a dragonborn with a cat, a tiefling in a chainmail bikini, a half-vampire warlock with a mask and a swordcane, and an NPC satyr who was along for the ride - are just hanging out below the wall watching.

After a minute I say, “behind you, you notice that a crowd of about ten or twelve peasants have gathered and are whispering in worried voices. You notice two guards approaching from down the road.”

Halfling rogue - one of the more-or-less newbies of the crew - whips around and immediately shouts “WELCOME TO THE GRAND SHOW!”, and scores an excellent deception roll. Dragonborn starts making his cat do tricks and rolls a sick animal handling check. Tiefling cleric begins pole-dancing on her spear and also rolls high. The warlock starts doing special effects with Minor Illusion and rolls ok. They nudge the satyr into playing music for them, who crits his performance check and charms half the audience as a result. The paladin, from the top of the wall, starts juggling his hammers and midway through throws one at the window of the Lord’s manor, breaking it so they can get in.

I was already going to give them that, and then nearly every last fucking NPC rolled an insight check of less than 10. So the group also made 10 gold for their “busking” and got into the manor completely unhindered. \o/ goddamnit.

Source: karrius

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

More you might like

Thoughts on Artifacts Planes

Homestuck Quadrant Geometry*

Formal Request

Gazpacho’s Adventures